You see, I bar tend. I tend bar. However, I don't drink. When people sit down at my bar and ask me what's good, I lie to them about what I think is good and suggest popular drinks. If they want to know the difference between two drinks, I act like I know. It's a lot of compromise, you see? I'm not an advocate of alcohol; I'm not! I don't think it's a good thing. Taking religion completely out of the equation, I think it ruins lives and families and puts people's lives at risk. Do you know how many people out there drink and drive? I'll clue you in: All of them. Ok, maybe not all of them, but I would say about 90% of the people that come and sit at my bar leave without a designated driver.
Putting religion back into the equation, my religion explicitly states that alcohol is bad! That it's not to be consumed. How can I look someone dead in the eye and tell them how good a Perfect Margarita is? There's so much conflict.
It's been a long 6 years of compromise and I'm done.
I don't have a backup plan. I don't have a way to replace that money, but I've made a good choice- one that will further my life and soul- and I'm confident that God will support me.
I'm not scared.
I am excited for Christmas; I am excited to cut down a tree and decorate it; I am excited for crooners on the radio singing gentle songs about love peace. I want someone to decorate my tree with and sit next to my fireplace while watching Charlie Brown's Christmas or It's a Wonderful Life.
What is happening to me?
I love you for reading and I'm sorry I haven't been as faithful.
I love you.