Here's the truth: when I type in the dark, I get vertigo. I begin to feel my body flip upside down and my head gets dizzy. I have to type with a light on, otherwise I really start freaking out.
My week is rather cyclic. It begins on Friday. I spend the entire day at Applebee's. And usually, it's fine. By the end of the day, I'm pretty tattered and worn, and I find myself usually (only a little bit) wondering why I continue to work at a place that robs my soul. Saturday and sunday go by, they are both nice because they are days off. Monday comes and I swear, it's like death. I can't explain it; I don't understand it; I work one shift at Applebee's and by the time Monday is over, I just want to rip my shirt off, light my bar on fire, kick a few hosts in the mouth and walk out the car side door, never to be heard of or seen again. (funny little anecdote: there was this guy that used to work at applebee's, I can't remember his name. But, he just stopped showing up for his shifts one day. A month later, his wife showed up, wanting to sit in his section and we told her he hadn't been in for a month and that he was fired for not showing up; we never heard from either of them again. Alright, maybe it's not so funny.) The work I do is so... compromising. Everything about it is a compromise. It's a compromise of my morals. Dealing with people I don't want to deal with is a compromise. Admitting that I'm wrong when I'm not is a compromise. Just... my entire career (honestly! even the fact that I work there. It's a
Anyway, by the end of Monday night, I'm ready to quit; to throw in the proverbial towel. But tuesday morning comes, and I find myself thinking about guys who work in Ecuador, picking bananas for 13-14 hours every day to make $200 per week. Wednesday comes and I think about construction guys that work 12 hour days doing hard labor in the hot sun or in the freezing cold. Thursday I find myself thinking about how some people have to work every day. And by friday, I have realized how cushy I've got it and what a whiny bitch I am. Ha ha ha.
So I go to work and start the whole thing over. End over end, I'm circling.
I love you for reading my meanderings of thought.
Always do what you're afraid to do.
I'm skipping school tomorrow. Don't wake me, I plan on sleeping in.