It was 2:30 AM and I was suddenly awake. Where the hell was I? How long had I been asleep? Where I lay was comfortable enough but I still felt the confusion of complete disorientation. Louise had been there. I knew that for sure.
Or had she?
My fist was clinched and my jaw set. My muscles at the ready. What was going on? I had to consciously tell myself to relax.
Music. Loud blaring music.
I could move; I wasn't pinned down at all and it was dark. Had Louise done this to me?
I ventured a muffled sentence, "Louise, are you there?"
The music was still blaring.
I was laying on my stomach, on a bed and my muscles were taut, again. "Louise, if you're there, answer me you bitch."
I rolled to my side and my naked skin touched something small and glass. It fell to the floor and clinked against more glass.
Emotions began to precipitate; anger, confusion, misery. I sat up slowly, pivoting in place and bringing my legs around to hang off of the side of the bed. Placing my feet on the floor, my skin touched cold glass, for a second time.
I pulled my foot in away in sudden shock but soon overcame and allowed my foot to firmly rest on the floor. Beneath my hardened sole, I felt the smooth curves of the glass. There were bottles-- all of them empty-- littered and strewn about all around the bed.
A wave of feelings: desire, disappointment, angst; somehow connected to the empty bottles on the floor.
Mechanically, my hand reached out to the stand, next to the bed. I found a phone and easily lit up the screen. Force of habit. Checking for forms of communication, blinded by the light, I turned the phone away disappointed.
"Damn you, Louise."
Everything was so hazy. I knew Louise had been there. Just hours before.
Just hours before.
Just hours before.
Just hours before, she had been sitting next to me, her feet planted where the empty bottle now lie. Or was I just dreaming?
"You just bring me down," she had said. "I wonder if I could do better," she had said.
Attempting to stand, my face met the floor and all was black. Again.
The music continued to blare.