(On the one hand, I want to fill it with short stories and poems; I want it to be filled with all of my fiction. But on the other hand, I just want it to be my ideas and stray thoughts.)
Honestly, I've got things on my mind that I don't want to make public. But that's not true. I've got things on my mind that I can't make public. Eh? See the difference? I hate writing that. I might delete this entire paragraph. It sounds so over dramatic and... high school.
I always try to stop at lemonade stands. As often as possible, anyway. What's 50 cents to me? What's a dollar for heaven's sake? It's nothing. So, if I ever have cash and time, I'll stop to buy some most-likely-really-crappy lemonade a few young entrepreneurs (for the record, I spelled that correctly the first time, without spell check.) have made. One day, I was out in springville and I came across a stand with little kids outside. I was with my sister and we decided to stop. As I pulled up, the little kids started hopping around, obviously stoked on their sale. I hadn't come to a complete stop, but as I focused on their banner and advertised price, I saw that they were selling blue beaded necklaces for $3.
What kind of venture is that?! I put my foot on the gas and drove away. I wonder if I crushed those poor kids. But what kind of crappy business model is that?? Are you ONLY trying to appeal to the women on the road? I was bugged. This happened like, three weeks ago and I'm still bugged by it. What in heaven's name am I going to do with a blue beaded necklace? Three dollars?? forget it.
I want some cookies and lemonade and I want it to cost me only $1.
Do you ever feel like you're too mistrusting of others? Like, you've become too cynical? It's a constant battle for me, to be honest. I'm always fighting this "i know better" attitude. I'm always wondering at people's ulterior (yes. ulterior. no, not alterior. That's not a word. It's ulterior. See? snobby.) motives. But I think I might be wrong in that. I think that living my life worried about whether or not I am being hoodwinked is not a way to live at all. I want to be able to take things at face value. I want to take compliments sincerely and have compassion for everyone.
I love you for reading.
Tell me you love me.
Don't stop believing.