What do I think? What do I think??
I had a really serious epiphany today. For me. I don't know how much for you. Like, I don't know that it will change your orbit or anything like that. I was talking with a very dear friend. We were talking about circumstances of other people and how we would react to them. And out of my mouth popped this very profound (or, so I deem) thought:
It's better to be sorry than safe.
I've written and rewritten this paragraph like one million times. Which is not usual for me. While I blog, I don't go back and rewrite stuff. Everything is free flowing. There is one draft and one draft only. So why am I so stuck on this paragraph?
There is so much that I want to do. I want to do everything. I want to go everywhere. I know it in my heart; I know it in my bones. But, it's interesting how quickly and easily the coward inside of me rises. Excuses become so easily found. It's like I am my own very worst enemy. And what am I afraid of? I want to live my life in a way that I don't regret any of the decisions I've made. And the only way to do that is to be sorry, not safe (I know, I know, it seems like that's counter-intuitive.). But it's so difficult to convince myself that that is the best way to go. I want to rise, I want to be valiant and courageous. I don't want to take no for an answer and I don't want to settle. I don't want to settle. I deserve to be happy and so do you. So make yourself happy. Do everything in your power to make yourself so. Consequences be damned, I'd rather be sorry than safe.
Always do what you're afraid to do.
I need you to understand something: I hate typing. I hate the uniformity of it all. I much prefer to write in my own handwriting. And who knows? Maybe I'll stop typing out my blogs and start writing them out. I could scan them into the computer and just post the pictures on as my blog post. And then, you would all complain about my cursive. Or stop reading. Ha. Though, i like that I write in cursive. Typed letters or emails or facebook messages have less value than a handwritten letter, I think. I don't just write out letters. Letters take too much effort. I think I really need to care in order to write a letter. And I guess, that's what gives it its value.
I have been eating a lot at Arby's lately. It's kind of my place right now. I just really like Arby's. Anyway, two days ago, I decided to go to Arby's at the orem mall. While there, I met Johnathan. Johnathan's name tag was spelled out like this: $$JoHnAtHaN$$. Do I even need to say anything about that? ha ha ha. I'll just leave it there. $$JoHnAtHaN$$ was very helpful in selling me my Big Montana.
I think that's all I've got for now. Maybe I'll expound on the better to be sorry than safe idea later on. I'm not sure, though. I'm having trouble focusing it. We'll see.
I love you for reading.
Don't settle for less and learn to play baseball.
One of my favorite quotes is by Marianne Williamson- "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liverated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." Make it a great day Andy!
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