Saturday, August 25, 2012

almost certain

 I think humans travel in packs.  Yep.  I'm almost certain, in fact.  Seriously, though.  It might be in our nature, or it might be because of traffic signals.  I would need some sort of controlled environment in order to reach a conclusion.  But I really believe that the great majority of humans prefer to travel in packs.
I have been driving for a while now.  I got my license when I was 18 (don't make fun) and I have been driving, just like all of you, ever since.  I tend to drive a little faster than I'm supposed to.  Usually, about 10 miles over the speed limit.  Not that big of a deal.  But while driving, I have noticed patterns.  As I get onto the freeway, I sometimes find myself in the midst of a big clump of drivers.  These clumps are sometimes stretched out and sometimes quite dense.  Inevitably, I make my way out of the group and find freedom: a stretch of road without many cars.  That freedom seems to always be short-lived, however as it is almost certain that I will eventually enter a new clump of drivers. 
What's more, not only are there packs of cars, but there are leaders, as well.  People that end up in front, controlling the speed of the followers.  I call them leaders because it seems like they have the biggest problem with me passing them.  They do everything they can (without breaking any laws) to stop me from passing them and leaving them behind.  They will box me in, speed up, slow down, change lanes, etc., etc., etc., all for the sake of preserving the pack.  And almost always, as the leader speeds up, so do the followers.
You, my fair reader, can participate and discover for yourself whether or not this claim is true.  If you are of valiant heart and accept the challenge, here is what I want you to do:
I want you to get onto the freeway and speed.  Go a long distance; maybe an hours worth of driving at 10 miles over the speed limit.  Let me know what you find!

I kind of want to join a biker gang.  Maybe not join.  Maybe form is a better word.  You see, joining a biker gang means I have to assimilate to their already-established code of conduct (how they dress, things they do, things that they don't do, etc.).  And I kind of don't want to do that.  I think in my gang, instead of leather, we're going to wear short shorts.  Like the type that I'm wearing in my facebook profile.  And instead of joining some association like BACA (bikers against child abuse), we're going to form our own like BTLCB (Bikers that love comic books) or BAP (bikers against pickles).  I'm like, way stoked about this.  We can go to different comic book stores on our motorcycles and just spend the day reading.  Or, persecuting those that are eating pickles. 

I love you for reading.

1 comment:

  1. I see what you mean about the packs.. I totally agree, but when I get into the packs, I usually visualize two things: 1. I use the pack to hide myself from officers, because of my blatant disregard for the speed limit. 2. I imagine myself as a spy, or some sort of nascar-rally car hybrid, who uses the other cars to "draft" or to make small maneuvers to take the lead. A kind of, tour-de-france-esque mentality... I like to imagine that my drafting techniques really are conserving fuel and energy on my drives from SL to Provo...

    Also, I would like to join your bike gang, whatever it may be called. May I suggest BTLBLTS? (Bikers that love bacon lettuce and tomato sandwiches?